But as usual even today I have no idea what is that which is making me feel the depth of the darkness of this evening?
I questioned myself, even though everything was fine the whole day, what went wrong all of a sudden?
Only then I realized everything was fine only until I saw the calender and the date was 04.11.2011. Yes, today I completed two years at my work. But I actually need to be happy after realizing it but no, I am not. Well, there are so many countless reasons for that.
With all these weird thoughts and bad mood I reached home at evening around 7.30. Just entered home and my cell phone started ringing. It was my friend who called me to discuss about the problems she was facing while applying for passport. I gave some suggestions with out even giving her a hint about my bad mind set and she was satisfied with those suggestions and told she will try them and cut the call.
As I got fresh I heard once again my phone ringing. Well, this time it was my another friend who called to tel me his problems of adjusting with his room mate. In fact, his problems has got no end as everyday he call me with a brand new problem of his life. Honestly I had no patience but I tried my best to listen and make him feel better by discussing with him. But, for a moment I was silent which made my friend get hyper on me. This was not new to me as I am aware of his nature that in frustration he often does that. But even than a sentence spontaneously came out of my mouth, "Only you don't have problems in this world, everyone has got their own problems". Oh God, How could I say this to someone? I could make it out by his tone that my statement had hurt him. He could only say, "Sorry I will call you some other time" and cut the call which left me completely with a feeling of a guilt. Everyday I listen to his problems which makes him feel better but why did I become rude to him today? I shouldn't have said that to him. This was the best reason to worsen my mind set more.
I sent him a message which was like" I am extremely sorry as I was strained due to work and have just reached home, my mind set was not at all good and may be that made me say that to you. I really din't mean it and I never thought I would be rude. I am Sorry".
Got no reply from his end. I wish I could control myself from making that sentence which have hurt him.Well, finally he replied with a message just before posting this blog " Its Okay, You made me realize something today. I do understand. Good Night".
And this is the way this dark evening has come to an end.